Daniel and Jack
by ebbtide
Summary: Daniel needs Jack. Warning, selfharm and suicide themes. Lotsa Angst!


Alright by Ebbtide Cheque

Disclaimer: I do not own them, just having a little fun at their expense. ;) Enjoy the angst!!

Author's Note: This is NOT a Daniel/Jack relationship piece...no romance here...this is a FRIENDSHIP piece. Granted, it is a deep friendship and feel free to read into it whatever you want, but it is written strictly as a gen friendship story. ;) . Also, it kinda stops abruptly. I would like you to decide how it ends.

----

You come to me with scars on your wrist

You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this

This is the last night you will spend alone

Look me in the eyes so that I know you know

The last night you will spend alone

I will wrap you in my arms and never let go.

Skillet

----

Dr. Daniel Jackson stumbled on the welcome mat set outside the door to Jack O'Neill's home. The sandy haired archaeologist caught himself on the doorframe and held on tight, his hand turning white from the death grip. It felt like his entire world was swirling around him in a whirlwind of emotion and pain. Too much had happened in the past week, too many bad experiences...he needed a friend to help him before he gave into the darkness. In some deep recess of his subconscious he had chosen Jack as that friend.

He raised one hand and rapped three times on the door in quick succession. He waited, hoping that the man was home. A hysterical giggle escaped at the idea that he had spent twenty minutes agonizing over knocking on the door to an empty house. But no, the house was not empty; he could already hear the approach of familiar footsteps. He would recognize them anywhere.

The door opened and a confused Jack was looking out at him asking why he was there.

"What, can't a man visit his friends?" He heard himself answer easily.

----

Jack could tell that there was something very wrong with his archaeologist. For the last few weeks SG-1 had been going strong on a string of perilous missions. This was their first real downtime of the month and it looked like Daniel needed it more than the rest of them. Dark bags under his eyes spoke loudly of a lack of sleep. Insomnia usually meant nightmares and if anyone understood the effect that bad memories could have on a soul, it was General Jack O'Neill.

Jack opened his front door wider and motioned Daniel in. It was obvious that the younger man needed a friend.

"You wanna beer?" Jack asked, already heading to the kitchen to grab one for himself. He would need it if the blank expression on Jackson's face was any indication of the true problems behind this little "visit".

"Yeah, sure."

Jack hated to take out the second beer, because he knew the archaeologist would hardly touch it - what a waste - but he had been the one to ask so with a sigh he reached into the fridge and pulled out a second cold one.

He opened both bottles and tossed the caps on the floor with a flick of his wrist, then walked back to where Daniel sat on the living room sofa. Jack handed the other man one of the beers and then took a long drink of his own.

"So, what brought this little visit on?" He asked, wiping a hand over his mouth.

Daniel didn't answer and Jack wondered if the man had even heard his question. He opened his mouth to break the silence with a smart comment, but he was interrupted when the man in front of him burst into tears.

----

Daniel felt like a dam inside of him was about to burst and allow all of his pent up emotions out in an unstoppable flood. He tried to shove them back into the corner of his mind where the "bad things" went, but he couldn't this time. There were too many, there was too much pain. He felt the tears falling before he was aware of his body convulsing in silent sobs.

He felt someone pull the beer out of his shaking hand and then the same firm; gentle hands were rubbing circles of comfort on his back. He leaned into the touch, wanting so much to be safe and loved and if this was as close as he was ever going to get...He cried harder. A blanket appeared around his shoulders and those hands tucked it neatly around him so that he was enveloped in warmth. The hands pulled him back against a strong body in a hug. He closed his blue eyes then and let all of his pain voice itself for the first time in years.

How long he sat there sobbing into Jack's blanket, with those hands rubbing circles on his back and a low voice murmuring soothing nonsense in his ear, he did not know. It could have been minutes or hours, but at the end of it he felt too drained to move. Tears were still running down his face and there appeared to be no end to them in sight, but the convulsions had stopped and his breathing had evened out. For the first time in so long, he felt clean, free and liberated all at the same time. His eyes still closed, he relaxed against his friend.

----

Jack looked down at Daniel, the man seemed to have calmed down somewhat, and he saw the starts of a smile curling up the corners of the archaeologist's mouth. He reached down and tucked a loose corner of the blanket up against the man's body. O'Neill knew how drained and emotionally spent his friend was now - he had been in that position more than once himself.

"Everything is going to be okay, Daniel." He murmured for the hundredth time that night.

"No, Jack, it's not." Daniel spoke up softly. There was a despair in his tone that scared the General.

"What do you mean?"

Daniel pushed himself up and disentangled his arms from the blanket and held them out, palms up, towards the General. "This is what I mean." He pulled up the sleeves of his long sleeve shirt.

O'Neill tried to hide his surprise at the harsh red cuts leading up the pale arms. He couldn't help but stare at them for several moments, blinking rapidly, as his mind tried to come to terms with the sight. Finally, he pulled his brown eyes away and locked gazes with Daniel.

"Why?" He asked weakly.

The General knew that things had been hard on his friend in the past few weeks - years really - but nothing so horrific had happened recently that this would seem a viable option. At least, that is what the General kept telling himself whenever SG-1 left without him to come back battered and bruised. Daniel's confession obviously showed him how wrong he had been about everything. He tried not to wonder how long this had been going on. Not all of the cuts were new, there were old pink scars that lead from the man's wrist to his elbow. It shook Jack to his core to see this.

"Do you need...help?" He asked, unsure of what Daniel wanted from him.

The young man made a disgusted sound deep in his throat and muttered something to himself in Arabic.

----

Daniel growled deep in his throat, annoyed with himself for having exposed his weakest secret to Jack O'Neill. He could tell that the older man was lost in this situation. What had he thought the General would be able to do about it? He asked himself angrily. Wave a magic wand and take back years of hurt and pain? Daniel knew better than to hope for understanding.

Jack waited patiently for him to explain, but now that the emotional explosion was over Daniel didn't really know what he was doing there. He couldn't even tell himself why he was there, it had been nothing more than a desperate attempt to stop the cutting. To stop the pain. His traumatized mind had reasoned that Jack O'Neill was the answer. So here he was in Jack's living room ruining the precious downtime the General treasured like Simpson re-runs.

Daniel wiped at the tears on his cheek. 'I'm sorry, Jack. I should have never bothered you. I'll - I'll go now." He tried to stand, but Jack took a strong grip on his shoulders.

"No you don't. You aren't going anywhere until I get some straight answers." Jack announced firmly. "Now, what is with -." He waved one hand at the archaeologist's wrists. "This!"

Daniel hung his head. "It started a few weeks ago. It was the anniversary of Sha're's death and I just...couldn't take it anymore."

"Ahh." Jack said.

"I know it was stupid and I should have gone to someone for help. It isn't like there's no therapists at the SGC." Daniel joked weakly. "There's a regular funny farm on level 30."

Jack studied his angst-ridden friend. "You came to me." He said quietly in realization. "You came to ME."

Daniel quirked a smile. "Yeah, yeah, I did. This afternoon I was thinking about Abydos." His face fell. "I can never go back there, Jack. It's all gone - andit'sallmyfault!" He added in a rush the tears returning in full force.

The young man felt his arms itch for a blade and he rubbed them instinctively. Jack saw the motion and his heartbeat quickened as he panicked. Just the thought of Daniel ever using a blade on himself was nauseating. He reached down to stop the man from scratching his skin anxiously.

"We'll get over this." Jack said softly, looking deep into his friend's crystal blue eyes. "You don't need to hurt yourself anymore, Daniel."

The archaeologist latched onto his friend and Jack hugged him back, trying to exude an aura of strength for his friend. They would get through this. There was no way that he would ever let Daniel hurt himself ever again.

"We'll get through this." He repeated quietly.

----

.THE END.


End file.
